Well, this last weekend was a hard one.
Back in December I bumped into my old art teacher from my community college and she told me that my drawing teacher was going to have a show with a bunch of his old students. I was so excited to see some of them again since it had been a few years. So Friday came and I was going to leave Riley at home with Tony so I could have some free time for the show. Sadly scheduling ended up not meshing and I had to bring her along.
So it was not as enjoyable as I had hoped since looking at the art turned more into running after a toddler who wants to touch it all or holding a squirming toddler who doesn’t want to be held. After fighting her enough, I took her outside the show to let her play.
She started wandering too far so I called her back. She ignored me for awhile but finally turned around and started running at me with the biggest smile on her face. I told her to slow down cause I could see the silly feet starting to come out. You know, the feet where you know they are about to fall cause they don’t have control? Yah…that one…
Before I could get to her, she fell. She has had worse falls, and this one just seemed like a little tap. But I guess it was a tap of just the right angle because I immediately noticed a chip on her tooth. As I picked her up to check her better, I cleaned off the blood from her lip and chin. Examined the tooth further and realized there was more than a chip…but a crack.
I started to panic. Riley decided eating dinner was lame and didn’t eat anything I offered before the show or at the show. Now she has a cracked tooth, how am I supposed to feed her? How am I supposed to find a dentist even because it is Friday night. What am I supposed to do until I can find someone to work on her?
I ended up taking her to ER just to see if there was anything extra I could do. Nothing.
We spent all day Saturday trying to find a dentist for her and no one had openings until the end of the month! This just blew me away because at this point her tooth was practically hanging. I know she isn’t the first kid to have this problem. Why wasn’t there more emergency spots available for these instances? One dentist did try to x-ray the area but she got scared at the last minute and messed up the image. He suggested a root canal but even that appointment wasn’t for almost 2 weeks.
Sunday morning we called another office near by that took Saturday’s off. They amazingly were able to get her in. They successfully were able to get an x-ray and could see how bad the crack was. They also opted for a root canal and cap.
The bummer thing is that they honestly couldn’t say if the tooth would survive or not because of the crack being so deep. They said we could pay more for the white but remember it could fail and we waste money. In retrospect, I wish we opted for the white anyway cause now that it seems like the tooth is surviving, we are faced with if we want to switch it. The dentist made it sound like it was a simple switch, just an extra drill or two to change but I don’t know if I want to put her through it again. Parenting is so hard.
I know it’s only a baby tooth and it will fall out one day anyway. I know this wasn’t some life threatening thing. I know we could be faced with soooo much worse things. But I still can’t help but miss that old smile.
I replay these moments in my head all the time wishing I had just gotten up faster, or maybe I should’ve just stayed home or gone to work. If I did those things she wouldn’t have had to dealt with this. I should’ve just asked for a few more minutes to think at the dentist office instead of making a quick decision cause maybe I would’ve chosen the white over the silver anyway. I know things could’ve been worse and I’m thankful that she is just back to her happy normal toddler self but I still miss that smile. I feel horrible that I can’t just accept it yet and that I’m even having these feelings.
I’m hoping maybe with some time I will just get used to it and not keep suffering with the mama guilt. We still have some time to make sure the tooth survives but for now, we will have a little pirate toddler.